Related:

• You may be redneck... if you've ever worn shorts to a funeral home.
• If you want to hide your face, walk naked.
• My father is credit manager at a funeral home. His bosses have a card that they hand out.
  It says Thank You for Smoking -- Your local undertaker....
• And if there is promise of a storm, if you want change in your life, walk in to it.
  If you get on the other side, you will be different....
• Have you ever been overlayed?
• CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes?
  He won't be long. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today....
• You may be redneck... if your wife has ever worn a tube top to a funeral.
• Confidence is that wonderful feeling of self-assurance you have just before you fall flat on your face at high noon in the most public of places and in the most foolish manner possible before the largest crowd of people ever known to be in that place at that time in all recorded history.
• If you ever become a parent..can I have one of your puppies?