Related:

• Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the dog] is good for almost every kind of game.
  He went duck hunting one time and did real well at it....
• My brother had a hamster. He took it to the vet--it's like bringing a disposable lighter in for repair.
  -- Wayne Cotte...
• I like having a machine called 'elvis' on the network because that way, I can say 'ping elvis' and have it come back with 'elvis is alive'.
  -- Carl Shipley...
• Q: How does a WASP propose marriage? A: "How would you like to be buried with my people?
• I've come too far, and I don't know how to get back. ELVIS PRESLEY
• Progress like a hamster. Perseverance brings danger.
• When the prick stands up, the brains get buried in the ground.
  -- Old Jewish saying [How come there aren't ever any "New Jewish sayings?" Ed.]...
• It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority.
  Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give....
• How do you kill a fag? A put a mole in his hamster cage.