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• If a man should register all his opinions upon love, politics, religion, learning, etc.
  beginning from his youth, and so go on to old age, what a bundle of inconsistencies and contradictions would appear at last....
• Every man desires to live long; but no man would be old.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) "Thoughts on Various Subjects" (1706)...
• I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever, in religion, in philosophy, in politics or in anything else, where I was capable of thinking for myself.
  Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent....
• We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)...
• If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) -- Letter to Miss Vanbromrigh, Aug, 12, 1720...
• He made it a part of his religion never to say grace to his meat.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) -- Tale of a Tub, Sect. xi...
• And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of co
  or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together....
• She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) -- Polite Conversation, Dialogue iii...
• If it had been a bear it would have bit you.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) -- Polite Conversation, Dialogue i...