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• When things are blackest, I just tell myself, "Cheer up, things could be worse!
  And sure enough, they get worse! -- Skeeve...
• Bart: Man, that's some story! Lisa: But there are still a few things I don't get.
  Like, how come we never heard about this until today?...
• How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I get lonely, I open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.
  One day I dropped the box all over the floor. The phone wouldn't stop ringing....
• You should never challenge "worse." Don't ever say, "Things couldn't get worse.
  Worse is rough ... I was down to my last two hundred dollars....
• QOTD: "Just how much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
• Smile, things could get worse. And they will.