Related:

• I REALLY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
• Homer: {Wait a minute...} there's one thing I don't understand.
  In all those years, why didn't you ever try to contact me?...
• Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?
  ! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker? Phoebe: No-no-no oh, keep your name, don_t take his name....
• Another lesson I learned was not to give pieces of my company away when it was small in exchange for investment capital.
  In the first place, those shares would be worth millions today....
• Finagle's Rules Ever since the first scientific experiment, man has been plagued by the increasing antagonism of nature.
  It seems only right that nature should be logical and neat, but experience has shown that this is not the case....
• Laura's mother: Well, I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes.
  I want to be fixed up with one of your friends as soon as you can arrange it....
• No man-made structure in all of American history has been hated so much, by so many, for so long, with such good reason, as that Glen Canyon Dam at Page, Arizona, Shithead Capital of Coconino County.
  -- Edward Abbey...
• Such a fine first dream! But they laughed at me; they said I had made it up.
• Jasper: What's eatin' you, Abe? For three weeks all you've been talking about is meeting Matlock.
  Now you've met him, swiped his pills -- [reads label] "Take one every hour to prevent spastic heart convulsions" -- [An ambulance drives by with its siren blaring...