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• Life is uncertain - buy the luxuries first!
• CHOCOLATE By John Scalzi Chocolate is God's way of reminding men how inadequate they are.
  I am vividly confronted with this fact every time my wife and I go out to a restaurant....
• Life is a first draft....with NO rewrite.
• Jeff's favorite antacid? Rec-Tums! Sometimes Jeff has to flip a coin to decide what to eat.
  ..heads or tails. Jeff's favorite frozen dessert is Eyes Cream!...
• It's a dessert topping AND a floor wax!
• Parent Definitions... AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again.
  DEFENSE: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside....
• Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel.
  Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain....