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• How long before we're as dumb as computers?
• How long must my genius go unrecognized?
• Wait a moment....wait a moment....wait a moment....
• Sorry to change the subject a little, but this priceless little anecdote occurred while I was working for a hardware store while in college.
  I'm standing behind the counter, wearing my little scratchy polyester uniform shirt, and this big huge guy walks up to me carrying two rolls of shelf paper and says "Is this going to be enough to cover my shelves?...
• 119 At the moment Japan declared war A sailor was fucking a whore.
  He said, "After this poke `Long and hard' ain't no joke...
• How many "pro-lifers" does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Six. Two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing....
• How can you tell Italian women are embarrassed by their long hair?
  Because they wear long gloves to cover it up....
• How to make a long story short: Forget the punch line.