Related:

• Mommy, mommy, why is Daddy running down the street?" -- "Shut up and reload.
• Mommy How Old Are You? 8 year old little Mary and her mother are walking through the mall together one day.
  Mommy," says the little Mary, "how old are you?" "Darling, you should never ask a woman what her age is....
• Childrens books you'll never see "You Were an Accident" "Strangers Have the Best Candy" "The Little Sissy Who Snitched" "Some Kittens Can Fly!
  "Where Would You Like to Be Buried?" "Where's Godot?...
• So, little boy, who in your family do you look like?
  "I look like my father!" "Ah, I see! And you little girl, which one of your parents do you look like?...
• Mommy, Mommy, can I have a spoon?" "Why, dear?" "Well, grandpa's been sick, and Robby got all the lumps .
  .....
• The first grade teacher assigns her class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence.
  The next day, she asks who has their assignment done....
• Children's Books That Didn't Make It... ** You Are Different and That's Bad ** The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables ** Dad's New Wife Robert ** Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share ** The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking ** Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence ** The Little Sissy Who Snitched ** Some Kittens Can Fly.
  ** The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator ** The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy ** Strangers Have the Best Candy ** Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way ** You Were an Accident ** Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will ** Pop!...
• Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in.
  Child: Mother, where do babies come from? Mom...
• A little girl went to the Judge and asked to be taken away from her parents .
  .. Judge: "Little girl, don't you want to live with your Mommy?...