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• If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
• The scenery only changes for the lead dog...
• Everything looks better in COLOR!
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• When everything looks darkest, it will rain.
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• Drinking Guidelines Symptom : Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste
  hirt front is wet. Fault : Mouth not open when drinking or glass being applied to wrong part of face....
• You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil has to be lead.
• Sayings According To First Graders A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
  He gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest....