Related:

• Beam me up Scotty, no intelligent life on this BBS!
• Beam me up Scotty, no intelligent software on planet.
• Scotty!, Hurry, beam me uragg^*úþœ NO CARRIER
• Scotty, hurry, beam me... uragg^*.%# NO CARRIER.
• Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
• Beam me up Scotty.
• Scotty! Pllleeeeeaaassseee beam me up!
• Yet another answer to that silly revenge problem: Tape down the little white things that spring up when you lift the receiver.
  (another alternative would be to open up the phone and remove two little spring things so that the white things don't come up at all....
• Don't pick up that phon#!}}{) NO CARRIER