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• Water, water everywhere...not a drop to drip.
• An x-spurt is an unknown drip under pressure
• A very poor couple had just been married and all they could afford was to share a house with an elderly couple.
  What's worse is that they have to sleep on the top half of a bunk bed, while the older couple slept on the lower half....
• HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME: Caress, praise, pampe
  elish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize, worship ....
• Tim Allen's Computer Upgrade I made a big mistake a few weeks ago, I heard that Tim Allen could fix anything.
  I am sure you have heard of him, he used to have his own TV show called "Tool Time", it was on ABC under the pseudonym of "Home Improvement....
• SIGNS: ** On a Plumbers truck : "We repair what your husband fixed.
  ** On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania...
• THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS....THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN "Members of Congress.
  ..People of America....I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong....
• Top 30 Ways to Simulate Being in the Navy when You're at Home 1.
  Lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be with letters that your neighbours have held for at least three weeks, discarding two of five....