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• Avoid the 5 o'clock rush - always leave work at noon.
• One Liners If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer....
• Hunting Schedule 1:00 am Alarm clock rings 2:00 am Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed 2
  30 am Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up 3...
• Q: Why does the LAPD leave the Dodgers game early? A: They want to beat the crowd.
• Sex at noon taxes.
• 1. My kids are locked outside. 2. My kids are locked inside.
  3. My kids are stuck in the door. 4. I have to help my grandmother bake cookies....
• A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take some samples for his thesis work.
  He flew there, found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections....
• Ways Oprah is Celebrating Her Victory 10. Shouting, "I'm going to buy Disneyworld!
  9. Jell-o shots with Ricki Lake. 8. Starring in new Broadway musical...
• Steals Clock, Faces Time