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• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• He who dies with the most toys... is -still- DEAD!
• Top 10 Added Scenes for The Lost World Director's Cut 10.
  Jeff Goldblum's other Asian 10-year old soccer playing son stows aboard for the adventure, thankfully saving everyone from a Raptor with his ball dribbling skills....
• Santa's Bad Day... One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
  Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule....
• Quayle'isms: * "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
  * "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure....
• Christmas 2000 A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.
  ...Please read the following carefully....... I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve....
• Any Moose in Texas? Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska.
  They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose....
• Where all the Masochists go to get abused.