Interesting Golf Quotes:
** One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a
bowling ball.
- Don Carter, pro bowler
** Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.
- Jimmy Demaret
** My physchiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings
f euphoria I experience from time to time.
- Bruce Lansky
** Have you ever notices what golf spells backwards?
- Al Bolska
** We learn so many things from golf- how to suffer, for instance.
- Bruce Lansky
** If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
- Dean Martin
** I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.
- Buddy Hackett
** I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
- Gerald Ford
** It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did
it in one afternoon on the golf course.
- Hank Aaron
** The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
- Bruce Lansky
** If you don't succeed at first, don't despair. Remember, it takes time to
learn to play golf; most players spend their entire lifetime finding out
about the game before they give up
- Stephen Baker
** In golf I'm one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and one under
a bush.
- Gerry Cheevers
** The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see
him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller
** Nobody ever looked up and saw a good shot.
- Don Herold
** I found out that all the important lessons of life are contained in the
three rules for achieving a perfect golf swing: 1.Keep your head down - 2.
Follow through - 3. Be born with money
- P.J. O'Rourke
** The more I practice, the luckier I get.
- Gary Player
** I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing.
Now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.
- Bruce Lansky
** What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee.
- Walter Hagen
** You make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them
are so rich that neither of their husbands' work.
- Lee Trevino
** My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I
taught her how t play golf.
- Bruce Lansky
** One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a
bowling ball.
- Don Carter, pro bowler
** Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.
- Jimmy Demaret
** My physchiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings
f euphoria I experience from time to time.
- Bruce Lansky
** Have you ever notices what golf spells backwards?
- Al Bolska
** We learn so many things from golf- how to suffer, for instance.
- Bruce Lansky
** If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
- Dean Martin
** I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.
- Buddy Hackett
** I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
- Gerald Ford
** It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did
it in one afternoon on the golf course.
- Hank Aaron
** The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
- Bruce Lansky
** If you don't succeed at first, don't despair. Remember, it takes time to
learn to play golf; most players spend their entire lifetime finding out
about the game before they give up
- Stephen Baker
** In golf I'm one under; one under a tree, one under a rock, and one under
a bush.
- Gerry Cheevers
** The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see
him laughing.
- Phyllis Diller
** Nobody ever looked up and saw a good shot.
- Don Herold
** I found out that all the important lessons of life are contained in the
three rules for achieving a perfect golf swing: 1.Keep your head down - 2.
Follow through - 3. Be born with money
- P.J. O'Rourke
** The more I practice, the luckier I get.
- Gary Player
** I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing.
Now I go to the driving range to practice slicing without swearing.
- Bruce Lansky
** What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee.
- Walter Hagen
** You make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them
are so rich that neither of their husbands' work.
- Lee Trevino
** My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I
taught her how t play golf.
- Bruce Lansky
Related:
- Three Essentials of Middle Age:
When I turned 50, I discovered three essential facts of middle age
periodontia, bifocals, and golf. GOLF? DID SHE SAY GOLF?... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off.... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
.... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker.... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals.... - There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him
the facts of life.
So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local brothel to have a good time.... - Not Listed
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th
hole.
He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.... - Unknown
Three friends always wanted to play golf on Saturday afternoon but
couldn't because of their wives.
One day, after many years, they finally manage to get together for a Saturday game.... - THE LATEST AND GREATEST AS COMPILED ON 18th October 1991
The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes (167) -------------------------------------- Revision 3....

