10. We've got oil to spare.
9. Exxon: The Eastern Airlines of the sea.
8. Anybody got a tissue?
7. Breathe a word of this to anyone, and we'll kill you.
6. Keeping your children safe from blood-thirsty marauding walruses.
5. Now sardines automatically come with oil.
4. Three Mile Island. Now THAT was an accident.
3. If it wasn't for us, American sea gulls would be covered with foreign oil.
2. Ecosystems, schmecosystems.
1. Hey, you try drinking 3 or 4 six-packs and then steering a huge oil tanker!