Yo mama's so fat, she's like a blimp--round and full of gas.
Yo Mama's such a bitch, PMS cheers her up.
Yo mama is so bald I can see what she's thinking.
Yo mama is so dirty she has to creep up on the bathwater.
Yo mama is so stupid, I told her Christmas was right around the
corner - so she went looking for it.
corner - so she went looking for it.
Yo' mama like an elevator, you push the right button and she goes
down!
down!
Yo' mama like a Chevrolet -- when I see her I get "Like A Rock!"
Yo' mama like a Big Mac -- full of fat and only worth a buck!
Yo' mama's like a vacuum cleaner -- she sucks, blows, and gets laid
in the closet!
in the closet!
Yo mama is just like a campfire -- everyone gets to stick there
weinie in her.
weinie in her.
Yo mama is like a casino -- liquor in the front, poker in the back.
The only difference between your mama and a washing machine is,
after you drop a load in the washing machine, it doesn't follow you
around!
after you drop a load in the washing machine, it doesn't follow you
around!
Yo mama is like a postage stamp - you lick, you stick, you send her
away.
away.
Yo' mama like a double decker bus, only costs 80 cents and everybody
goes on top!
goes on top!
Yo' mama's lips so big, she can whisper in her own ear.
Yo mama is like a Corvette, she burns four rubbers a night.
Yo' mama's like a racecar, she burns through four rubbers a night.
Yo Mama is like a refrigerator. Meat goes in and out all day.
Yo' mama so dumb, she waited at a STOP sign until it said GO!
Yo' mama's only got one hair, and it's on her nuts!
Yo mama's like a shotgun, 2 cocks and she's ready to blow.
Yo' mama like a bag of chips -- Fri-to-lay!
Yo mama's so big, fat and clumsy, when she tried to get to Wal-Mart,
she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.
she stumbled over K-Mart and landed right on Target.
Yo' mama's like a virus -- it spreads and your body is screwed!
What's the difference between yo mama and a chicken?
A chicken lays eggs and your mama lays everything else!
A chicken lays eggs and your mama lays everything else!
What is the difference between your mother and a prostitute?
You don't know? I see! I'm sure she'll be delighted when I tell her!
You don't know? I see! I'm sure she'll be delighted when I tell her!
Yo mama is so fat, yo daddy is still climbing.
Yo mama so ugly, that when she wore Pepper Jack panties, even the
rats wouldn't eat her.
rats wouldn't eat her.
Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama so ugly, I asked her if her face hurt because it was killing
me!
me!
Yo mama is like a hockey player she doesn't change her pad for three
periods.
periods.
Yo mama like a stamp: You lick her stick her then send her away.
Yo mama is soo fat when she wore high heels she struck oil.
Yo mama is like a brick, flat on both sides and laid by Mexicans.
Yo mama's so beautiful, chaste, and pure, I long to bask in the warm
glow that surrounds her.
glow that surrounds her.
Yo mama is so stupid, she invented a condom with sweat holes.
Yo mama so fat it takes two buses and a train to get on her good
side!
side!
Yo mama so dumb, she artificially inseminated you just to tell 'yo
mama' jokes to her grandchildren.
mama' jokes to her grandchildren.
Yo mama is so fat, the last time she seen 90210 was on the scale.
Yo mama is so fat she sells shade in the summer.
Yo mama is so fat when she skips a meal, the stock-market drops.
Your mama is so nasty, when you said, "Mama, what are we going to
have for dinner?"
She stuck out her foot and said, "CORNS".
have for dinner?"
She stuck out her foot and said, "CORNS".
Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her walking down the street with only one
shoe, and I asked her if she lost her other shoe and she said, "No, I
found one!"
shoe, and I asked her if she lost her other shoe and she said, "No, I
found one!"
Yo mama is so stupid, she stared at a orange juice carton for an
hour because it said "concentrate."
hour because it said "concentrate."
Yo mama so dumb, she wrote anti-anti-jokes to be extra funny and
still made terrible jokes.
still made terrible jokes.
Tell yo' mama to stop changing the color of her lipstick, I got a
rainbow on my dick!
rainbow on my dick!
Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country!
Yo mama so bald, her cornrolls look like stitches.
Yo mama so dry, the crabs carry canteens.
Yo' mama so stank, even the couch gets up when she sits down!
Yo mama so big, everytime she turns around it's her birthday.
Yo mama so dirty, she made Right Guard go left.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale an it said one at a time
Yo mama so poor she beat up a gumball machine because it didn't take
food stamps.
food stamps.
Yo mama so short, she did a suicide jump off of the curb.
Yo mama so stupid she couldn't even make up a "yo mama" joke.
Yo mama so ugly, she scares blind people.
Yo mama so dumb, when she threw a rock at the ground she missed.
Your mama cooks so bad, your family prays after they eat!
Yo mama's so fat she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
Q: What's the difference between yo' mama and the Titanic?
A: The Titanic sunk and your mama floated.
A: The Titanic sunk and your mama floated.
What's the difference between yo' mama and a walrus? One has
whiskers and smells of fish, the other one's a walrus!
whiskers and smells of fish, the other one's a walrus!
What is the difference between yo' mama and a winding road? The
winding road has curves you can get used to!
winding road has curves you can get used to!
Yo Mama is so poor, the change in her pockets have arguments.
Your mama is so fat, after she and your daddy got through having sex
he had to roll over twice just to get off of her!
he had to roll over twice just to get off of her!
Yo mama's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she worked at the bakery they dipped
her face in the batter to make animal cookies.
her face in the batter to make animal cookies.
Your mama's cooking is so bad, that the flies pitched in to fix the
screen door.
screen door.
Yo mama's so fat that when she goes walking on the beach in heals
she strikes oil.
she strikes oil.
Yo Mama's so fat that when she goes to the beach in her blue bathing
suit, the whales come up and sing "We Are Family".
suit, the whales come up and sing "We Are Family".
Yo' mama's breath is so nasty, when she burps her teeth have to
duck.
duck.
Yo' mama's breath stinks so bad, people look forward to her farts!
Yo Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and
it's only a dollar to ride.
it's only a dollar to ride.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a semi-trailer as a couch.
Yo mama is so small that she plays handball on the curb.
Yo Mama's house is so dirty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach
stole my wallet.
stole my wallet.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't fit through the door of an Internet chat
room!
room!
Yo Mama is so dumb, she thought Taco Bell was the phone company.
Yo Mama is like a elephant, she rolls on her back for peanuts.
Yo Mama is so fat, she has her on planet called, "Mamatown".
Yo mama's feet are so scaly that they filmed Crocodile Dundee in her
footbath.
footbath.
Yo mama's so dirty, plants grow off her ass.
Yo Mama is so fat that you have to spread her legs with a forklift.
Yo mama's ass is so jiggly, I heard Bill Cosby stuck a spoon in it.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map, she
sees people waving.
sees people waving.
Yo mama's so greasy, Texaco went to her for oil.
Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, Wilson couldn't pick it.
Yo mama's so hairy, when she went into the woods, Bigfoot took
pictures of her!
pictures of her!
Yo Mama's so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone.
Yo mama's butt is so big, when her hemorrhoids got inflamed, the
doctor called the Fire Department.
doctor called the Fire Department.
Yo mama's house is so dusty the roaches ride around in dune buggies.
Yo mama's house is so small, I threw a rock in the window and hit
everyone inside.
everyone inside.
Yo Mama is so ugly when she was kidnapped her mother sent the
kidnappers a thank you card!
kidnappers a thank you card!
Yo mama's like a 7-11, open 24 hours a day on every street corner
and for 99 cents you can get a slurpee.
and for 99 cents you can get a slurpee.
Yo mama's like AOL - so easy to use, no wonder she's number one!
Yo' mama's like a gas station, pump and pay!
Yo' mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw!
Yo' mama like a pool table -- put in 50 cents and she will rack your
balls!
balls!
Yo' mama's like McDonald's, over 90 billion served !
Yo' mama's like Sprint -- ten cents a minute, anytime, anywhere, no
restrictions!
restrictions!
Yo mama is like a brick -- she is always getting laid.
Yo' mama's like a chipmunk, her cheeks are always packed full of
nuts!
nuts!
Yo mama is like a donkey. Everybody rides the ass.
Yo' mama is like a heavyweight boxer -- a few licks, a few blows,
and she's back to her corner!
and she's back to her corner!
Your mama's like a postage stamp: you lick her, you stick her, you
send her away.
send her away.
Yo mama's like a shotgun -- one cock and she's ready to blow.
Yo mama's like a toilet -- round, white and smells like shit!
Yo Mama's like the Pilsbury Doughboy. Everybody wants to poke her.
Yo' mama's lips so big, she doesn't use chapstick -- she uses Mop
'n' Glo!
'n' Glo!
Yo mama has more crabs than Red Lobster.
Yo Mama's breath is so bad, she could clear a chat room.
Yo mama's mama is such a fat, hairy, dumb, stank, drunk, blonde,
knock knock ho, all jokes at jokes.com are about her.
knock knock ho, all jokes at jokes.com are about her.
Yo mama's so nasty, she has to put ice down her pants to keep the
crabs fresh.
crabs fresh.
Yo Mama's so old, I took her to see "Jurassic Park" and she started
having flashbacks.
having flashbacks.
Yo mama sooooooo fat that I had to take a plane, a train, and an
automobile just to get on the bitch's good side.
automobile just to get on the bitch's good side.
Your mama's so poor, she has to rinse & reuse toilet paper!
Yo Mama is so poor, she told your little siser that Santa Claus was
dead.
dead.
Yo mama's pubic hair is so nappy, every time she takes off her
maxipad, it comes off like velcro.
maxipad, it comes off like velcro.
Yo' mama so dumb, that the Psychic Friends only charge her half
price to read her mind!
price to read her mind!
Your mama's like a roller coaster...she has her ups, she has her
downs and 20 people or more can ride her at the same time!
downs and 20 people or more can ride her at the same time!
Yo' mama got such bad dandruff, the principal declared a snow day!
Yo Mama is so short, she poses for trophies.
Yo Mama is so skinny, she could hang glide on a Dorito.
Yo' mama so fat, they showed her a picture of her feet and she
couldn't identify them!
couldn't identify them!
Yo mama is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he said,
"Move!
"Move!
Your mama's so hairy her knees have bangs.
Yo' mama so nasty, she can grow flowers out of her buttcrack!
Yo' mama so stank, her teacher gave her an A for not raising her
hand!
hand!
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in
it!
it!
Your mama's so stupid she put the operator on speed dial.
Yo Mama is so stanky, she put a cucumber in her snatch, and pulled
out a pickle.
out a pickle.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she tried to studiy for her breathalizer test.
Yo mama's so stupid that when she took the Pepsi Challenge, she
chose Jif.
chose Jif.
Yo' mama such a ho, she could sell her spit to a sperm bank!
Yo' mama such a loser that even her Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter.
Yo' mama's teeth are so crooked, each tooth has a sign saying, ''One
mile to the next tooth.''
mile to the next tooth.''
Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, she walked into church and smiled
and they all sang ''Let it shine, Let it shine, Oh let it shine.''
and they all sang ''Let it shine, Let it shine, Oh let it shine.''
Yo' mama's teeth are so yellow, she smiles and traffic slows down!
Yo' mama's teeth are so crooked that when she smiles it looks like
her mouth is throwing up gang signs!
her mouth is throwing up gang signs!
Yo' mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
Yo mama's so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and came out with
a job application.
a job application.
Yo mama's underwear is so full of holes that every time she farts
they whistle.
they whistle.
Yo Mama is about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors.
Yo mama got sacked from a sperm bank for drinking on the job!
Yo' mama a saint...a St. Bernard!
Yo mama's breath stink so bad when she burps, her teeth duck.
Yo Mama is like a drug; everyone does her, but no one admits it.
Yo mama's fart stinks so bad that George Bush declared it biological
warfare.
warfare.
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a quarter back was a refund.
Yo mama so short, she has to cuff up her panies.
Yo mama's had more pricks than a second-hand dartboard!
Yo mama's hair so short she rolls it with rice.
Yo mama is like the Internet -- everyone can explore her.
Yo mama is so nasty I called her on the phone and she gave me an ear
infection.
infection.
How much do I owe yo mama? My dog came home happy last night.
Yo mama's teeth so yellow when she smiles, cars slow down.
What's the difference between a new pair of sneakers and your mama?
A new pair of sneakers are tight.
A new pair of sneakers are tight.
Yo mama is so bald that she has to use rice for rollers.
Yo mama's so bald that when you rub her head you can see into the
future.
future.
Yo mama is so bald that when she takes a shower she gets
brainwashed!
brainwashed!
Your mama is so cheap, she rolls her own tampons!
Yo' mama so country, she thought an elevator was a mobile home!
Yo mama's so dirty, the U.S. Army wants to use her bath water as a
biological weapon.
biological weapon.
Yo mama is so disgusting that every time she bends over to tie her
shoes, she's gotta fart!
shoes, she's gotta fart!
Yo' mama so dry, her crabs ride dune buggies!
Yo' mama so dumb, she failed a pregnancy test!
Yo Mama's so dumb, she went to a movie that said ''under 18 not
admitted,'' so she left to go get 17 of her friends.
admitted,'' so she left to go get 17 of her friends.
Your mama is so dumb when she was pulled over for drunk driving and
they asked her to walked the line she said, ''Which one?''
they asked her to walked the line she said, ''Which one?''
Yo mama's so dumb, she tried to drown her pet fish.
Yo' mama so dumb, when she filled out her job application and it
said `sex,' she wrote "not lately."
said `sex,' she wrote "not lately."
Yo mama is so dumb that she got locked in the bathroom and peed her
pants.
pants.
Yo' mama so dumb that if brains were dynamite she couldn't blow her
nose!
nose!
Yo' mama so fat, when fighter pilots see her they say, "Bogie at 11,
12, 1, 2, and 3 o'clock."
12, 1, 2, and 3 o'clock."
Your mama's so fat she has to walk in the street instead of hogging
the sidewalk.
the sidewalk.
Your mama's so fat when she walked into the all-you-can-eat buffet
they had to install speed bumps.
they had to install speed bumps.
Yo mama's so fat that she went into 7-11 and didn't come out until
11:07.
11:07.
Yo mama's so fat, she got busted in the airport for having 200
pounds of crack.
pounds of crack.
Yo' mama is so fat, when she joined the army and the soldier said
head for the trenches, they all jumped in her butt crack!
head for the trenches, they all jumped in her butt crack!
Yo' mama so fat, when she puts on BVD's it spells out boulevard!
Yo mama is so fat that she keeps a pack of bacon for dental floss.
Yo Mama is so fat that she got baptized at Sea World!
Yo' mama so fat, she goes to the beach and she's the only one who
gets a tan!
gets a tan!
Yo mama is so fat that when she took a vacation to New York City,
she wore a black dress and everyone thought there was a power outage.
she wore a black dress and everyone thought there was a power outage.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo' mama so fat, she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama is so fat that when I took her to a buffet, she pulled up a
chair.
chair.
Yo mama is so fat that, when she was bungee jumping, she took the
whole bridge with her.
whole bridge with her.
Yo mama's so fat that when I screwed her, I burnt my ass on the
light bulb.
light bulb.
Your mama is so fat, a bus drove by and she said, ''Stop that
Twinkie!''
Twinkie!''
Yo Mama is so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mama's so fat, when she runs, she makes the CD player skip... at
the Radio station.
the Radio station.
Yo' mama so fat that she couldn't be born by a C-Section. She had to
be born by a C-D-E-F-G Section!
be born by a C-D-E-F-G Section!
Yo mama is so fat, her car is made of spandex.
Yo' mama is so fat that when she did a cartwheel she kicked God in
the nuts.
the nuts.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on my cat's tail and now I call him
"Beaver"
"Beaver"
Yo' mama so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard!
Yo mama's so fat her clothes have stretch marks.
Yo' mama so fat, she wore corduroys and smoothed out the ridges!
Yo' mama so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box!
Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating
disease the doctor gave her 18 years to live.
disease the doctor gave her 18 years to live.
Yo mama's so fat, she walked in the donut shop and they all shouted,
"There's those missing jelly rolls!"
"There's those missing jelly rolls!"
Yo' mama so fat, she has double chins all the way to her ankles!
Yo mama is so fat that her driver's license says, "Picture continued
on other side."
on other side."
Yo' mama so fat, she drives a Spandex car!
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo' mama so fat, she uses epileptic boys as vibrators!
Yo mama's so fat, she uses the equator as a belt!
Yo mama is so fat, she broke wind at a cookout and started a forest
fire.
fire.
Yo' mama's so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits!
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always
greener on the other side?" everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't
standing on it."
greener on the other side?" everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't
standing on it."
Yo' mama so fat that when she changes hands on her handbag, she has
to throw it!
to throw it!
Yo mama is so fat that when she hauls ass she gotta make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip
flops.
Submitted by Rachel Pinero
flops.
Submitted by Rachel Pinero
Yo' mama so fat, she thought Highway 59 was a Slip 'n' Slide!
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a REAL horse on her shirt.
Yo mama is so fat that the back of her neck looks like a package of
hot dogs.
hot dogs.
Yo mama's so fat she needed a hula hoop for her wedding ring!
Yo mama is so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny
Craig is the door.
Craig is the door.
Your mama is so fat, she walked into a Jenny Craig and they said
"Sorry, we don't do miracles!"
"Sorry, we don't do miracles!"
Yo mama is so fat, when she jumped up in the air, she got stuck!
Yo' mama so fat, she has a kickstand on her pegleg!
Yo' mama so fat, she makes the Klumps look like supermodels!
Yo mama is so fat, she wore leather pants to a party and when she
bent over to pick up a penny, people sat on her booty thinking it was
a couch.
bent over to pick up a penny, people sat on her booty thinking it was
a couch.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of wearing Levi's 501 jeans, she wears
Levi's 1002's.
Levi's 1002's.
Yo mama's so fat, she needs license plates for her shoes.
Yo mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Your mama so fat, she's been married for 20 years and your dad
hasn't seen the other side of her yet!
hasn't seen the other side of her yet!
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a
menu, she get an estimate.
menu, she get an estimate.
Yo mama is so big she makes Moby Dick look like a tic-tac.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets her dildos from NASA.
Yo' mama is so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names
to her farts!
to her farts!
Yo' mama so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs!
Yo' mama is so fat, her nickname is Dammmmnnnn!
Yo mama's so fat, when she tried boarding Noah's Ark, Noah yelled
out the window, ''We only need one of those!''
out the window, ''We only need one of those!''
Yo' mama so fat, she trims her nose hair with a weed whacker!
Yo' mama so fat, she jumped in the ocean and whales started singing
"We Are Family!"
"We Are Family!"
Yo' mama so fat, her panty lines look like a road map!
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Yo mama is so fat, her picture fell off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk
dud.
dud.
Yo mama is so fat, she uses pillowcases for socks.
Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this:
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars....
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars....
Yo' mama so fat, she wears a polka dot dress and people play
twister!
twister!
Yo' mama so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas for practice
before climbing her!
before climbing her!
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks in high heels she strikes oil.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on the rainbow and skittles popped out!
Yo mama is so fat, she wore a red dress and everyone shouted "Hey!
Kool-Aid!"
Kool-Aid!"
Your mama is so fat that when she goes to a restaurant, instead of
getting a menu, she gets and estimate.
getting a menu, she gets and estimate.
Yo mama's so fat when she went to the restaurant they gave her a
group discount!!!
group discount!!!
Yo mama so fat that when she rubs her legs together, I swear I smell
bacon!
bacon!
Yo mama is so fat that I run around her for exercise.
Yo' mama so fat, she puts in tampons with a bazooka!
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "One at a
time, please."
time, please."
Yo mama's so fat that when she sees a school bus she yells, "Stop
that Twinkie!"
that Twinkie!"
Yo mama is so fat she scrubs her butt with a tree.
Yo' mama so fat, she goes to Sea World and they pay her!
Yo' mama is so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo mama's so fat, she sells shade.
Yo' mama so fat, when her shadow fell on the bed, it broke!
Yo' mama so fat, she got shocks on her toilet!
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take
the shoeshine boy's word for it.
the shoeshine boy's word for it.
Yo' mama so fat, she showered and found an old thong!
Yo mama is so fat, she shows up on radar.
Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo' mama so fat, that when she sits around the house, she really
sits around the house!
sits around the house!
Yo mama is so fat that when she dances, the band skips.
Yo mama's so fat that she has several smaller fat women orbiting
around her.
around her.
Yo Mama is so fat, she got smiles on her kneecaps.
Your mama's so fat, after sex she smoked a turkey!
Yo mama's so fat, after sex she smokes ham.
Yo' mama so fat, she has to wear snowshoes on dry land!
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even float in space!
Yo' mama so fat, when she went swimming, Spain claimed her as a new
country!
country!
Yo' mama so fat when she went to St. Louis she got stuck in the
arch!
arch!
Yo' mama so fat, she steps on a dollar and makes four quarters.
Your mama is so fat, her stomach arrives home 30 minutes before she
does.
does.
Yo mama's so fat she makes a sumo wrestler look anorexic!
Yo mama is so fat she sweats barbeque sauce.
Yo' mama so fat, you can swim in her bellybutton!
Yo mama is so fat that she walked in front of the TV and I missed an
entire two-hour special episode of "The X-Files."
entire two-hour special episode of "The X-Files."
Yo mama is so fat, she has a tattoo of the United States on her
chest and in the corner it says ''actual size.''
chest and in the corner it says ''actual size.''
Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo' mama so fat, you use her thong as a hammock!
Yo mama is so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her
through a tunnel when they want to clean it!
through a tunnel when they want to clean it!
Yo mamma's so fat, she tripped on 4th Avenue and landed on 12th.
Yo mama's so fat she gets turned on reading a cook book!
Yo mama is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
Yo' mama so fat, she wears two watches -- one for each timezone!
Yo' mama so fat, she uses a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.
Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street her legs talk to
each other: ''You let me go, I'll let you pass, you let me go, I'll
let you pass...''
each other: ''You let me go, I'll let you pass, you let me go, I'll
let you pass...''
Yo mama is so fat, when she wanted a water bed they put a blanket
over the Pacific Ocean.
over the Pacific Ocean.
Yo mama's so fat, you can see her on the world map.
Yo mama's so fat, she wore an X-Files T-shirt and a helicopter
landed on her.
landed on her.
Yo mama is so fat, she put on a yellow raincoat and all the kids
yelled, "here comes the school bus."
yelled, "here comes the school bus."
Your Mama is so fat that when she went to the zoo, the elephants
threw peanuts at her.
threw peanuts at her.
Yo' mama so fat, when she was born her mom said, ''Great,
triplets.''
triplets.''
Yo mama's so fat, her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a milk
dud.
dud.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama is so fat, when she went to the doctor's office, they
weighed her on the Richter scale!
weighed her on the Richter scale!
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of
gas.
gas.
Yo mama is so fat that her measurements are 36-24-36, and her other
arm is just as big.
arm is just as big.
Yo' mama so fat, when she was born, they didn't get a birth
certificate -- they got blueprints!
certificate -- they got blueprints!
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time
zone.
zone.
Yo' mama so flat, she tattooed "Front" on her chest!
Yo mama's so funky she brushes her teeth with a chainsaw.
Yo mama is so ghetto, she puts food stamps in a money clip.
Yo mama's so greasy, she uses bacon as a band-aid!
Yo' mama so hairy, they filmed 'Gorillas in the Mist' in her shower!
Yo mama's so loose her dildo came with jumpstart cables.
Yo mama's so hunchbacked, she has to wear safety goggles when she
pisses.
pisses.
Yo' mama so lazy, she stuck her nose out the window and let the wind
blow it!
blow it!
Yo' mama so loose, she opened up a swimming pool in between her
legs!
legs!
Yo' mama so nasty, I asked what was for dinner and she spread her
legs and said "Crabs!"
legs and said "Crabs!"
Yo' mama so nasty, she took a bath and lost 40 pounds!
Yo mama is so nasty, she went to the petting zoo and the animals
made her wear gloves.
made her wear gloves.
Yo mama's so old, she remembers the grand canyon as a ditch.
Yo' mama so old, she dreams in re-runs!
Yo Mama's so old that she used to work with Fred Flinstone!
Yo' mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper!
Yo' mama so old, I had to poke around for an hour to find the right
wrinkle.
wrinkle.
Yo' mama so old, she got a Jesus starter jacket!
Yo mama's so poor, she lives in a two-story Dorito Bag
Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her where the bathroom is, she said
"Pick a corner."
"Pick a corner."
Yo' mama so poor, her face is on a food stamp!
Yo mama is so poor, she needs a kickstand to hold up her house.
Yo mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, ducks throw bread at
her.
her.
Yo mama is so short, she has to look up to look down.
Yo mama is so short, that she can run track around the toilet!
Yo Mama is so skinny, her nipples touch.
Yo' mama so slutty she heard Santa say, "ho ho ho" and thought she
was getting it three times.
was getting it three times.
Yo' mama so small, I can see her feet in her driver's license
picture!
picture!
Yo mama's so smelly, her Sure deodorant is confused and her Secret
deodorant told on her.
Yo mama's so smelly, she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow
down, and Ban come off strike.
Yo mama's so smelly, she has to use Right Guard and Left Guard.
deodorant told on her.
Yo mama's so smelly, she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow
down, and Ban come off strike.
Yo mama's so smelly, she has to use Right Guard and Left Guard.
Yo mama's so smelly, even dogs won't sniff her crotch.
Yo mama's so smelly, when you were being delivered, the doctor was
wearing the oxygen mask.
wearing the oxygen mask.
Yo mama's so smelly, she gets sourdough yeast iinfections.
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her
Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
Yo' mama so stank, she used Odor-Eaters and completely disappeared!
Yo' mama so stinky, she gets sour dough yeast infection!
Yo' mama so stupid, she brought toilet paper to a craps game!
Yo' mama so stupid she sent you to rehab because you were hooked on
phonics!
phonics!
Yo mama is so stupid she went to the Empire State Building, threw
off a penguin and yelled, ''Fly! Fly!!''
off a penguin and yelled, ''Fly! Fly!!''
Yo mama is so stupid that when we told her to go in the living room
and sit on the couch and watch TV, she sat on the TV and watched the
couch.
and sit on the couch and watch TV, she sat on the TV and watched the
couch.
Yo mama's so stupid that she jumped off a cliff and stopped for
directions.
directions.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Dunkin' Donuts" was a basketball
team.
team.
Yo mama's so dumb, she got fired from a blowjob!
Yo' mama is so stupid she told everyone that she was
''illegitimate'' because she couldn't read.
''illegitimate'' because she couldn't read.
Your mama is so stupid, she took a ladder to a Giants game.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a penny in a gumball machine and waited
for change.
for change.
Yo mama is so stupid, she poured ice down her pants to keep her
crabs fresh.
crabs fresh.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo mama's so dumb she got stabbed in a gunfight.
Yo' mama so tight, you need the Jaws of Life to open her vagina!
Yo' mama so ugly, even the garbageman won't pick her up!
Your mama's so ugly, she laid down to take a beauty nap and slipped
into a coma.
into a coma.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born her mama said, "what a
treasure," and her daddy said, "yeah, let's bury it."
treasure," and her daddy said, "yeah, let's bury it."
If ugliness was a record, yo mama would go triple platinum.
Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they
run for the border.
run for the border.
Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her,
I pinned a tail on it.
I pinned a tail on it.
Yo' mama so wrinkly, she has to screw on her underwear!
Yo mama's so dumb she told you that yo mama was dumb.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thought that the the International Dateline
was a global dating service.
was a global dating service.
Yo mama so stupid, when you were born she saw the umbilical cord and
said, "Hey it comes with cable!"
said, "Hey it comes with cable!"
Yo mama is so dumb that she was on her way to the airport and saw a
sign that said "airport left." So she turned around and went home.
sign that said "airport left." So she turned around and went home.
Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got
energy!"
energy!"
'Your mama is so dumb, she sold her car for gas money!
Yo mama''''''''s so dumb, her favorite color is clear!
Yo mama is so dumb, it took her an hour to cook minute rice.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought a ribbed condom was soul food.
Yo mama's so fat she got ran over by a monster truck and stood up
and said," Who's throwing rocks?"
and said," Who's throwing rocks?"
Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom
scale.
scale.
Yo mama's so fat that, after sex I rolled over twice and was still
on the bitch!
on the bitch!
Yo mama's so fat that when she bends over, we go into daylight
savings time.
savings time.
Your mama is so fat, people use her butt cheeks as a ski slope.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to fuck her and fell in.
Yo Mamma's so fat she plays hopscotch like this: Atlanta, New York,
Chicago, Detroit, Los Angelos, Seattle, Las Vegas...
Chicago, Detroit, Los Angelos, Seattle, Las Vegas...
Yo Mama''so fat she was on Jerry Springer and Ricky Lake at the same
time.
time.
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo' Mama is so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth.
Yo mama is so fat, she eats her cereal out of a satellite dish.
Yo mama's so fat, even Sherpas can't climb her.
Your mama's so fat she went on an airplane and it turned into a
boat.
boat.
Yo Mama is so fat, that when she dances, the band skips!
Yo Mama's so fat, when she goes to get out of the bath you have to
call the Coast Guard.
call the Coast Guard.
Yo mama is so fat when her beeper went off people thought she was
backing up.
backing up.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama is so fat that when she bent over, they found Jimmy Hoffa!
Yo Mama is so fat, that if she rode her bike across the moon in
"ET," that fat bitch would have caused an eclipse.
"ET," that fat bitch would have caused an eclipse.
The difference between yo mama and a blue whale? About ten lbs.
Yo' mama so fat, she broke the family tree!
Yo mama's so fat she's got more crack than Harlem.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook
Yo Mama is so fat she gets clothes in four sizes Large, Extra large,
Jumbo and "Oh my God it's coming towards us!"
Jumbo and "Oh my God it's coming towards us!"
Yo' mama is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a
twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Yo' mama is so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay
for her ticket because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
for her ticket because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo' mama is so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep
trying to get up again.
trying to get up again.
Yo Mama is so fat, that her first word was oink.
Yo' mama is so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital
stretch marks.
stretch marks.
Yo' mama is so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo Mama is so fat, she puts on lipstick with a paint roller.
Yo mama is so fat, she puts mayonnaise on asprin.
Yo' mama so fat, she sat in a monster truck turned it into a
lowrider!
lowrider!
Yo mama's so fat, when she rides her motorcycle by law she has to
put two red rags in her back pockets and a sign on her back that says
'Oversize load.'
put two red rags in her back pockets and a sign on her back that says
'Oversize load.'
Yo' mam is so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite
pictures!
pictures!
Yo Mama is so fat, when she sits on a quarter she squeezes a booger
out of George Washington's nose.
out of George Washington's nose.
Yo mama is so fat that she has to go to rehab for mainlining pork
chops.
chops.
Your mama is so fat you need a road map to find your way around her!
Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo' mama so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said, "Please step
out of the car!"
out of the car!"
Your Mama's so fat that when she went to school she sat next to the
whole class!
whole class!
Yo mama is so fat, she shaves her legs with a lawnmower.
Yo mama's so fat , she stood on a scale and it said "Game Over."
Yo Mama is so fat, she leaves stretchmarks in the bath tub
Yo mama so fat, she goes swimming and gets harpooned!
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses Tickle Me Elmo for a vibrator.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on
her good side.
her good side.
Yo mama's so fat she uses two greyhound buses as rollerblades.
Yo mama is so fat, when you walk around her you get lost.
Yo mama is so ghetto, she does wheelies in her 10 speed.
Yo mama's chest is so hairy, her titties look like coconuts!
Yo mama is so hairy that Tarzan couldn't get through her bush.
Yo Mama's armpits are so hairy, she looks like she got Don King in a
headlock!
headlock!
Your mama so nasty, that after we had phone sex I got an ear
infection!
infection!
Yo mama''s so nasty, I came over and asked what''s for dinner and
she opened her legs and said "TUNA SUPRISE!"
she opened her legs and said "TUNA SUPRISE!"
Yo mama's so old that her friend told her to act her age and she
dropped dead.
dropped dead.
Yo mama is so old she went to an antique shop and they kept her.
Yo mama's so old that, when she breast-feeds, powdered milk comes
out!
out!
I saw yo mama kicking a can. I asked what she was doing and she
said, ''Moving.''
said, ''Moving.''
Yo mama's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list!
Yo mama is so poor she does a drive-by from the bus.
Yo mama's so poor, she only has two channels on her black and white
tv, On and Off.
tv, On and Off.
Yo mama's so poor, I saw her walking down the street with only one
shoe on. I said, ''Hey, Mrs Jones, you've lost a shoe,'' and she said
''No, it's alright, I found one''.
shoe on. I said, ''Hey, Mrs Jones, you've lost a shoe,'' and she said
''No, it's alright, I found one''.
Yo mama is so poor, I picked up a skateboard and she said, "Put down
my car!"
my car!"
Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.
Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat
Yo mama's pussy stinks so bad, the military have to come and seal
off the area.
off the area.
Yo' mama so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!
Yo mama is so stupid that when her boss told her to take her ugly
ass home she came back 10 min later with no ass.
ass home she came back 10 min later with no ass.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought that wu-tang was a japanese orange
drink.
drink.
Yo mama's so stupid she thought asphalt was a rectal disorder.
Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.
Yo' mama so dumb she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was
makin' the booty call.
makin' the booty call.
Yo mama is so stupid, she put on a condom on her head and thought it
was a showercap.
was a showercap.
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Your mama is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama is so stupid, she has a glass door with a peep hole.
Yo mama is so stupid, that when they said, "Order in the court," she
asked for fries and a shake.
asked for fries and a shake.
Yo' mama so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited
and waited for a gumball to come out!
and waited for a gumball to come out!
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her if she wanted the window
seat on the plane, she replied, "I'd better not, I just had my hair
fixed."
seat on the plane, she replied, "I'd better not, I just had my hair
fixed."
Yo' mama so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket and starved to
death!
death!
Yo' mama so stupid, she broke her TV looking for the TV dinner!
Yo' mama so dumb, she ate a T.V. Dinner and choked on the antenna!
Your mama's so thin she ate a peanut and thought she was pregnant.
Yo Mama's so ugly, when she was born, a fight broke out in the
delivery room. There was a brawl over who got to slap her mom first.
delivery room. There was a brawl over who got to slap her mom first.
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and it'll still be
doggie-style.
doggie-style.
Yo mama is so ugly, your dad only takes her out on October 31st.
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she smiles, it hurts.
Yo mama is so ugly, she stuck her face in cookie dough and made
gorilla cookies.
gorilla cookies.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.
If it weren't for the olives in martinis, yo' mama would starve to
death.
death.
Yo Mama's teeth are so big, if she sneezes she'll stab herself in
the chest.
the chest.
Your mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles the cars start to
slow down.
slow down.
Yo mama's so fat, to have sex with her, you have to slap her thigh
and ride the wave in!
and ride the wave in!
Yo mama's tities smell so bad, they make onions cry
You Mama is so fat, when she's missing, they have to use both sides
of the milk carton.
of the milk carton.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she can't get a date off a calendar.
Yo mama so ugly ,the tide wouldn't even take her out!!
Yo Mama is so fat, she went to buy a waterbed and they put a blanket
over the Atlantic Ocean.
over the Atlantic Ocean.
Yo Mama's so ugly, on halloween, she had to trick-or-treat over the
phone!
phone!
Yo' Mama is so old, when I told her to act her age she died.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thinks Limp Bizkit is a medical condition.
Yo' mama is missing so many teeth, it looks like her tongue is in
jail!
jail!
Yo Mama is so ugly, she has to get a baby drunk to breastfeed it.
Yo' mama so dumb, she bought a solar powered flash light!
Yo' mama so fat, her doctor said she had a flesh-eating disease and
told her she had 13 years to live!
told her she had 13 years to live!
Yo' mama so greasy, she sweats Crisco.
Yo mama is so hairy that she has to part the hair on her butt in
order to go to the bathroom.
order to go to the bathroom.
Yo mama is so old that her Social Security number is 1.
Yo' mama so poor, she asked for a discount on pennycandy!
Yo' mama so short, she plays racquetball with the curb!
Yo mama is so skinny, I sat on her lap and broke her leg.
Yo mama is so small she poses for trophies
Yo' mama so stupid, she went to the doctor for a home pregnancy
test!
test!
Yo' mama so ugly, she looked in the closet and the Boogie Man quit.
Yo' mama so hairy, you almost died of rugburn when you were born!
yo' mamma is so fat last time she watched 90210 it was on the scale
Yo mamma is so white she makes the pilsbeary doe boy look like a
Mexican.
Mexican.
Yo mamma's so retarded, she thinks "yo mama" jokes are funny.
Yo momma is so dumb that when the waiter brought out her strip
steak, she asked where the thong was.
steak, she asked where the thong was.
Yo momma''s so dumb, she took an hour to make minute rice.
Yo momma is so fat that when she wore high-heels, she struck oil!
Yo momma's so stupid...when your daddy said it was chilly outside,
your momma went and got a bowl!
your momma went and got a bowl!
Yo momma's so fat she has to polish her fingernails with a paint
roller!
roller!
Yo momma's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out.
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.
Yo mama's so dumb the weather man said it was chilly outside so she
went and got a bowl.
went and got a bowl.
Yo mama is so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone.

