Related:

• Inspector: Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation.
  Apu: But, sir, I was only following standard procedure....
• Apu: {[holds out a towel] Good morning, sir!} Home
  {Aah!} Apu: {Relax, please. You do not have anything I have not seen before....
• Homer: Well, _that_ was a big bust. Is he _really_ the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
  Apu: [growls, reaches towards Homer] Homer: No need to apologize, Apu...
• Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was _I_ who wronged _you_.
  So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service....
• Homer: Oh, I need money. Apu: Well, if you need money, you should have at least jammed a gun in my ribs, or better yet, you could inquire about my help-wanted sign.
  Homer: You're looking for help? Apu: Yes, we need someone for the demanding yet high-profile midnight to 8am shift....
• Man 1: I need one 29-cent stamp. Apu: That's $1.
  85. Man 2: I'll have $2.00 worth of gas, please. Apu...
• Homer: No, don't kill me. I didn't know there was film in that camera in that hat!
  I was unaware. I was unaware! [sobs] Apu: Mr....
• Apu: Ah, my old Squishee machine. And my scum bucket with fly!
  And a whole check list. Woods: Hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, aren't you?...
• Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
  Lisa: That's spacious reasoning, Dad. Homer: Thank you, dear....