Related:

• Quote #554 Rodney knew that he was going to die a horrible
  creaming, unspeakable death, when he arrived on the bridge in a uniform that did not match the others, was referred to only as "yeoman" and was to be sent planetside with Captain Kirk and the regular away team....
• How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead....
• Quote #558 If it weren't for the knee-high sewage lapping at his dress pants and the confused terrorist spraying automatic gunfire over his head between loud
  emotional outbursts in a language that sounded like someone choking on gravel, Johnson could see little reason to change his mind about the wisdom of registering at a two-star hotel....
• Quote #549 When the mightily-hewn warrior-hero Glark One-Ea
  fed up with paying the tribute demanded by the despotic wizard Jormed-the-Doubly-Soulless, set out to single-handedly unite the warring barbarian tribes of Verfot and lead them in bloodily overthrowing the evil mage's tyranny, he envisioned a progressive tax system based upon income brackets, yet allowing deductions for business expenses, dependents, and charitable donations....
• Quote #559 The first bullet entered and exited Ed's abdomen, penetrated his elbow, reentered his body and exited his buttocks, severing a tendon there
  he second entered through the right side of his neck, missing all of the major structures and exiting through the fro...
• Quote #550 "I could tell you stories about this road we shall be traveling
  he old man told his young companions as he leaned on his staff and stroked his silver beard, "of how it was built by Dwarves of the Barad-dur in the days of Thranduil the Great, numberless years before the Elves of the Ered Luin left their silver woods in Lindon, sailed their ships over the Western Sea, and passed from the knowledge of men, but what would you learn from these tales, except that I squandered my college years reading far too much Tolkien instead of meeting girls....
• Quote #555 Out of the killer cold of the forty-below unending Arctic night into the glowing warmth of the Last Ditch Saloo
  we stumbled numbly, dragging behind us the frozen dead corpse of our friend, Bartholomew, whom the hardened permafrost of the tundra resisted our burying, and, leaning poor stiff Bart against a wall, gaily called out for drinks for the house, as we were flush with prospected gold that now only needed to be split two ways....
• Quote #560 Unwittingly, Bob pressed the Enter key
  ending a stream of zeros and ones in electronic form across the computer's bus, through the processor, out the serial cable, through the 56K modem, and into the seamy and unfathomable world of the Internet where his MasterCard number became as ubiquitous as the cute chord that plays when you boot up a Windows based computer....
• Quote #556 "Alas," Vanessa sighed, "What can one do when one's relationship begins to stale in much the same way as a day-old cinnamon roll which was wrapped in wax paper rather than having been sealed in plastic
  and can only be made remotely palatable for a very brief period when reheated for a few seconds in a microwave, after which it becomes even more revolting than it was in the first place?...