Related:

• One learns to itch where one can scratch. -- Ernest Bramah
• All science is either physics or stamp collecting. -- Ernest Rutherford
• Only in soap operas are all of life's crises resolved by Friday.
• A bank robber in Buffalo entered and placed a bag over his head.
  He forgot to poke eyeholes and was blinded, and promptly tackled by security guards and customers....
• All that glitters is not gold. All that doesn't glitter isn't either.
• Q: What's the difference between hard and dark? A: It stays dark all night.