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• Big-endians and small-endians. -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) -- Gulliver's Travels, Part i, Chap.
  iv, Voyage to Lillipu...
• He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers.
  -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) -- Gulliver's Travels, Part iii, Chap. v, Voyage to Laputa...
• There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy. -- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
• The various opinions of philosophers have scattered through the world as many plagues of the mind as Pandora's box did those of the body
  only with this difference, that they have not left hope at the bottom. -- Jonathan Swif...
• And he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of co
  or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together....
• On or about October 19, 1745 a man named Johnathan Swif
  or a spelling near unto this, died, or is said to have died, since the vital signs, the majority of them at least, are alleged not to have been present....
• Every dog must have its day. -- Jonathan Swif
• Nothing is so great an instance of ill-manners as flattery.
  If you flatter all the company you please none; if you flatter only one or two, you affront all the rest....
• So, naturalists observe, a flea Has smaller fleas that on him prey
  And these have smaller still to bite 'em; And so proceed ad infinitum....