Related:

• Real software engineers like C's structured constructs, but they are suspicious of it because they have heard that it lets you get "close to the machine.
• Real computer scientists work from 5 pm to 9 am because that's the only time they can get the 8 megabytes of main memory they need to edit specs.
  (Real work starts around 2 am when enough MIPS are free for their dynamic systems....
• Real programmers like C because it's the only language they can spell
• Real computer scientists admire ADA for its overwhelming aesthetic value but they find it difficult to actually program in it, as it is much too large to implement.
  Most computer scientists don't notice this because they are still arguing over what else to add to ADA....
• Real computer scientists don't debug programs, they dynamically modify them.
  This is safer, since no one has invented a way to do anything dynamic to FORTRAN, COBOL, or BASIC....
• Real computer scientists like planning their own environments to use bit mapped graphics.
  Bit mapped graphics is great because no one can afford it. So their systems can be experimental....
• Real computer scientists like having a computer on their desk, otherwise how would they read their mail.