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• Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars. -- Fred Alle
• We're going to find out tonight who the oldest lady in the audience is.
  And we have a marvelous present for her. When we find the oldest lady, we're going to give her ....
• The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, "Where the F!
  CK is my ROOF ?!?" -- Pat Calitri...
• And so, men, we can see that human skin is an even more complex and fascinating organ than we thought it was, and if we want to keep it looking good, we have to care for it as though it were our own.
  One approach is to undergo a painful surgical procedure wherein your skin is turned inside-out, so the young cells are on the outside, but then of course you have the unpleasant side effect that your insides gradually fill up with dead old cells and you explode....
• Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon, we have the stars.
• Today's topic is "Are We Alone in the Universe?" We can only begin to explore this question by taking you deep underground where gas deposits are normally surrounded by countless "fossils" left over from billions of years of evolution on earth.
  Although the stars are made entirely of gas, spectrographs have shown that they contain no fossil-like material....
• There is an old shovel lying here.