Related:

• Marge: [writing] "Dear Mr. Sherman, on behalf of the people of Springfield I would like to invite you to judge our film festival.
  [cut to Jay reading the letter in New York] You can stay with us, and enjoy the sights and sounds of the country....
• I use a limited version of Intel's Pentium for my writing work: A pen!
• I'm writing a telephone book. May I have your number?
• I could be a country-western singer. I just got done writing my latest song
  If I had met you earlier, I would have gotten rid of you long before now....
• Homer: [reads writing on his palm] "Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on.
  Lenny: [reads writing on his own palm] "Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger....
• I am covered with pure vegetable oil and I am writing a best seller! -- Zippy the Pinhead
• In my opinion I think that an author when he is writing shouldn't get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words that he does not really need.
  -- Writing Rule 16...
• When I read some of the rules for speaking and writing the English language correctly.
  .. I think Any fool can make a rule And every fool will mind it....