Related:

• Bicycles may not be ridden without "appropriate fashion accessories" anywhere in Santa Clara County (de facto law).
• American culture is based on the automobile, and any young man of promise is going to own one and want to travel great distances in it.
  Consequently, any young woman of aspiration should expect to spend most of her vacations in a car, probing into unfamiliar corners....
• 3.0-3.9: Motion comparable to upset stomach after bad burrito.
  Freeways impassable. 4.0-4.9: Slight fizz noticed in refrigerated mineral water....
• Those who tell all they know cause little or no trouble.
  Only those who tell more than they know are troublemakers....
• In Santa Clara it is forbidden to dedicate parking spaces to the patron saint of television.
• 'Two drunken souls trying to save each other, but they can't save themselves.' -- Tom Clancy
• Nelson: Hey, German boy. Go back to Germania! [everyone laughs] Ute
  I do not deserve this. I have come here legally as an exchange student!...
• The following appeared in an editorial in a Prunty County newspaper.
  "In an attempt to improve highway safety, Prunty County recently lowered its speed limit from 55 miles per hour to 45 on all major county roads....