HOW TO LEAVE THE PLANET
1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731) 483-3111. Explain that
it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the
White House - (202) 456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with
the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the
Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-292-9051). They
don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of),
but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone
number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer
and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your
phone bill arrives.
-- Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
