I find and have found in the past (and, worse, fear that shall
find in the future, too) that jumping on someone and hollering with a
Marine sergeant's voice produces the absolutely best results in a
significant majority of cases. Not all, granted a-priori, but in a great
I readily agree with you that it is not the most neighbourly of tactics, but
it produces results without harming anything more than the victims'
composure and my own name. The latter is inconsequential, the prior is