Related:

• Operatic music like Rossini's "Stabbat Matter":) Hi, you've reached Hell.
  (Screams in the background.) We're busy being cleaned by the light of eternal truth right now, so if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, we'll get back to you at the end of time....
• A message from the depths of Hell!
• I am replying to this message with my built-in VAX Mailer on my Game-Boy.
• Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment.
  If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you....
• With the pride of an artist, you must blow against the walls of every power that exists, the small trumpet of your defiance.
  -- Norman Maile...
• This is your hell. Keep it happy.
• File Attach [FidoNet] 1. n. A file sent along with a mail message from one FidoNet to another.
  2. vt. Sending someone a file by using the File Attach option in a FidoNet mailer....
• File Attach: [FidoNet] 1. n. A file sent along with a mail message from one BBS to another.
  2. vt. Sending someone a file by using the File Attach option in a BBS mailer....
• The light at the end of the tunnel is probably your house burning down.