Related:

• I HAD A BAD DAY It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
  The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died....
• Bubba Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know.
  Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?...
• A farmer is about to visit his wife at hospital. He enters (at non-visiting hours), and is asked to sit down and wait.
  After half an hour, he began to be a bit nervous, so he started walking....
• A guy walks into a bar where he has heard that the bartender is keeping a horse in back.
  Walking up to the bar, he asks what the bartender would give him if he were able to go back to the horse and make it laugh....
• This is a true story told by a friend of mine. It happened to a girl she knew.
  There was this girl driving along the highway, when she suddely had to visit the restroom....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Proof By Intimidation ----- -- ------------ A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
  A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Butcher Dance A guy has spent five years traveling all around the world making a documentary on Native dances.
  At the end of this time, he has every single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film....