There Was This Irish Nun Sitting On The Curb, Sipping A Bottle O' Stout And Obviously Drunk Out Of Her Mind.

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There was this Irish nun sitting on the curb, sipping a bottle o' stout
and obviously drunk out of her mind. The town constable walked up to her
and said, "Sure, now sister Colleen, and why'd ya be doing a thing like
this?" The sister replied, "Oh now, it's not fer me-self I done it sir.
I done it fer the mother superior to cure her constipation." The
perplexed policeman looked askance at this and asked, "And how might it
be that yer present state could have anything to do with the mother
superior's constipation?" To which sister Colleen said, "When she sees
me this way, she'll be shittin a brick."