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• 1997'S BEST NEWSPAPER HEADLINES ARE... Include your Children when baking cookies Something went wrong in Jet Crash
  Expert says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case Iraqi Head Seeks arms Is there a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?...
• 60 Actual Newspaper Headlines, Collected by Journalists 1.
  Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says 2. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers 3....
• This guy walks into an opthamologist's office with a violin case.
  He waits for his appointment and is shown into the doctor's office....
• Q: Why do Blacks walk the way they do? A: Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
• Daffynition) Pussy (n): What a man spends nine months trying to get out of - and the rest of his life trying to get back into.
• Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.
  Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures....
• Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.
  Who gets it? The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures....
• Brace yourself, Mr. Cassidy," the physician told the patient on whom he had performed a battery of costly tests.
  You have approximately six months to live." "But I don't have insurance, doctor," said Cassidy, "and I can't skimp and save enough to pay you in that time!...