Q: Hear about the guy who complained to a friend that his wife had cut him down to twice a week.
A: The friend said, "Hell that's not so bad, I know two guys she's cut out entirely!...
I've got a joke that'll make you laugh 'til your tits fall off!
Oh... I see you've already heard it....
Q: What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
A: Bi-lingual. Q: What do you call someone who speaks three languages?...
DOCTOR: I've got some bad news and I've got some really bad news.
PATIENT: Give me the bad news first. DOCTOR: Well, you have about twenty-four hours to live I'm afraid....
A 5-year old boy and his dad are visiting the zoo, in their bi-weekly weekend together.
Standing in front of the elephant-cage, the boy asks his fathe...
An Australian hooker goes into a tavern, empty, except for a lone Koala bear sitting at the bar.
She walks up and asks if he would like to spend the night with her....
A white guy, a black guy, and a Mormon are talking one day.
The black guy says "I've got four kids; one more, and I'll have a basketball team....
This guy walks into a bar, carrying a crocodile and a chicken.
He sets them down on the stool next to him, and says to the (uncertain-looking) bartender "I'll have a Scotch and Soda....
A blind man and his dog go into the supermarket and then the blind man takes his dog by the collar and starts to swing him around over his head, knocking things off the shelves.
The manager comes up...
A forman was assigned three new workers; two big strong local men, and a little guy from Japan.