Bill Gates is at this party and it lasts to past 1am and like all
computer people who stay up late he gets hungry. He says, "Hey! How about
us calling out for pizza?" The people he is with are somewhat taken aback
(he has all these bucks, shouldn't he have some more class), but agree.
So he calls the take out pizza place. He comes back crestfallen. "They
don't deliver after 1am." he says. His friends say, "Uhhh, Bill, you
forgot. You have all this MONEY. How much is that pizza worth to you?"
Bill stands there a minute then says, "I'll call again." He picks up the
phone and gets them on the line and says, "This is Bill Gates and it's
worth $252 for you to bring me pizza." He got his pizza FAST.
mummy, mummy Yesterday I met a man that told me that if i give him
a blow job he would buy THESE shoes for me.
Bumper sticker seen (on a trashed out pickup):
"My kid beat up your honor student"
It was a Friday afternoon in an elementary classroom and being just after
lunch the children were getting a bit restless. So the teacher decided to
play a game which would get the childrens' attention.
"We are going to play a game," the teacher said, "I will quote someone from
history and whoever can tell me who made the statement and when they made it,
I will allow that student to be excused from school on Monday."
So the class comes to attention.
"Who said 'Ask not ask what your country can do for you, but what you can
do for your country?'" asked the teacher.
All of the students just sat and stared at the teacher. Every one of them
dumbfounded by the question. A few moments later, a little Japanese boy in
the back of the class said, "President John F. Kennedy, 1968.
"That's right, Yakomoto," said the teacher. "Now aren't the rest of you ashamed
that none of you American children knew the answer and that a Japanese boy
So the teacher turns around and starts walking towards the chalkboard.
"Fuck the Japanese," exclaims one of the other children!
"Who said that?" asks the teacher.
A little boy in the middle of the room stands up and says,
"Lee Iacoccoa, 1988........and I'll see you on Tuesday!"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...