... You dial a wrong number and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
... You are run off Main Street by a combine.
... You can't walk for exercise - every car that passes offers you a ride.
... You don't use your turn signal because everyone knows where you
... You get married and the local newspaper devotes a quarter page to the
... You drive into a ditch five miles out of town and the word gets back
to town before you do.
... The biggest business in town sells farm machinery.
... You write a check on the wrong bank - and it covers you anyway.
... The pick-ups on Main Street outnumber the cars 3-to-1.
... You miss a Sunday at church and receive get-well cards.
... Someone asks you how you are, and actually wants to know.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
You stay by her side the entire party 0
You stay by her side for a while hen leave to chat
with a college drinking buddy -2
Named Tiffany -4
Tiffany is a dancer -6
Tiffany has implants -8
When mingling, you hold your mate's hand and gaze at her lovingly +1
When mingling, you introduce her as "the old ball and chain"
and pat her on the rump -5
When she points out a hot-looking woman and asks if you think
she's pretty, you say, "Yes, but nowhere near as pretty as you" +1
When she points to a woman and asks if you think she's pretty, you say,
"Yeah, but don't worry, she's lousy in bed" -6
That woman is her sister -90
You have one drink, and that's it 0
You have more than a few and perform the tango with a poodle....