A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it
to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted
that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my
lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on
one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid
back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the
physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief
on either side, and I thought I'd check out the same way."