How many vampires does it take to put in a lightbulb? None, vampires like the dark.
What color do you paint the sun and the wind? The sun rose, and the wind blue.
Which brand of underwear does King Tut like best? Fruit of the tomb.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are all week days.
Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot, anyone can catch a cold.
Did you hear about the depressed archeologist? His life was in ruins.
What do you call it when one cat sues another? A clawsuit.
What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In a dictionary.
Q: What did one eye say to the other ? A: Just between you and me .
.. there's something that smells....