How do you tell someone that they are really ugly? You are so ugly the tide won't go out with you.
How can your pocket be empty and still have something in it? When it has a hole in it.
Why did the baker rob the bank? He needed the dough.
Why did the farmer feed his cows money? He wanted rich milk.
What should you do if your dog is missing? Check the lost and hound.
What kind of truck do ballerinas drive? Toe trucks.
What do the moon and false teeth have in common? They both come out at night.
What is green and pecks on trees? Woody wood pickle.
Why did the old man put his car in the oven? He wanted a hot rod.
Why did the prisoner want to get measles? So he could break out.