What's stranger than seeing a catfish? Seeing a goldfish bowl.
Why do turkeys eat so little? Because they're always stuffed.
What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a boy scout?
Someone who likes to pitch tents....
Why is a calendar so sad? Because its days are numbered.
What do cows give after an earthquake? Milk shakes.
If two is company and three is a crowd, what is four and five? Nine.
What has two arms but can't raise them? a chair.
Why do ghosts like health food? Because it's super natural.
Why would anyone hire an elephant? Because they like to work for peanuts.
Why didn't the skeleton ask his girl friend to the dance? Because he didn't have any guts.