A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends
$5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at
a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I
hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35,"
was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the
same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29".
"I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She
replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young
there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants
for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip
her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's
done. You are 47."
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was in line behind you at McDonalds."
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...