What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer who's gone bad? Senator.
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
Have you heard about the lawyers word processor? No matter what font you
select, everything comes out in fine print.
Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? He threatened
to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer
What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? When a rooster wakes
up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? Hell, you need
250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Did you hear about the lawyer from Texas who was so big when he died that
they couldn't find a coffin big enough to hold the body? They gave him an
enema and buried him in a shoebox.
What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn.