Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies
** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip
club at least once.
** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each
** If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St.
** Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.
** All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit
level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
** The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or
give him 48 hours to finish the job.
** All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
** It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk
** The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - no
one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any
other part of the building undetected.
** Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.
** The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
** All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
** If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition,
even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
** You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the
mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
** Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be
necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
** If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer
beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his
forthcoming art exhibition.
** A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will
wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
** When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill
- just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact
** Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you
should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
** If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange
noises in their most revealing underwear.
** Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every
morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
** Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
** All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
** A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK
** Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
** Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
** It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone
** Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn
the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
** It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
** A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
** It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
** When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will
never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
** No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
** Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
** You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
** Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -
unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
** Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at the precise moment that it is aired.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...