19 Ways To Know You Are A Woman 1. You're A Bitch 2.

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19 ways to know you are a woman
1. You're a Bitch
2. When asked "Is something bothering you?" reply "NO" then
get pissed off when you are believed
3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and
loves parties, start dating him and immediately expect him to
stop this behavior
4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the
5. Always hide very important events in very unimportant
terms so you can have something to be pissed about when your
boyfriend declines because he has pressing business, i.e. You say
"It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my
parents with me if you are not busy this weekend." when you mean "It
means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend
whether or not it is possible!"
6. Whine
7. If you are trying to sleep, it's because you're exhausted from
your almost super-human level of daily achievement; if he is
trying to sleep, it's because he is lazy
8. No matter what the activity, he doesn't do it as well as a
past boyfriend
9. If he pays attention to you, he is smothering you
10. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you
11. Complain
12. Hate any bar that he likes
13. Demand to be treated as an equal in everything........
except when paying for meals, airplane tickets, concerts, beers,
clothes, etc..........these are required gifts proving his love
14. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable
about your cycle, tell him you're irregular from all of the stress in
your life (also, see number 7)
15. Remember that ANY woman who so much as looks at your
boyfriend must be labeled a WHORE and your network of friends must be
informed immediately to spread this as quick as possible
16. Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty about
doing anything other than catering to your needs
17. Break into tears for no apparent reason, then use number 2
18. Ask for help in some endeavor then become livid when it is
19. Insert yourself into your boyfriend's group of friends,
break up with him, then make sure you are present at every gathering
for the next month just to rub it in.