You've Got The Whitest Teeth I've Ever Come Across.

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You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.....

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Female to guy:

Hi, you look like a real wanker.
(pause for effect)

Want a break tonight?

The guys usually spend so much time trying to convince you that they're not a
"wanker" (that ego thingy) that in the end they are trying to pick *you* up!!!!

And I would like to thank you for your support

What's a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the gutter and they always come back for more.
What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Introduce herself.
Walks home.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
She drops her nail file.
What's a sorority girl's favorite wine?
"Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi."
What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
Don't know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
'Cause everyone gets a turn.
How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie on
the bed.
Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
Garbage gets taken out once a week.
What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?
Bay of Pigs.
What do you call a sorority girl hang-glider festival?
Multiple total eclipses.
What is a sorority girl's mating call...
"I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk!"
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl??
Nothing. There are some things a sorority girl won't do.
I don't know, but it sure enjoys screwing people.
I don't know, but when it sucks your cock, it does't stop until it
gets blood.
1) Tri Delts; I'm sure everyone else has.
2) If your date won't, Tri Delts.
3) Once you've tried everyone else, Tri Delts.
__________ __________
\ / /\ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\ / / \ \ /
\/ /________\ \/
Tri Delts: Two out of three go down.
What do fraternity boys call hemorrhoids ?
Speed bumps.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog ?
Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.
7, one to change it and six to go out and buy Tab (or diet Coke).
65, 1 to do it and 64 to sing and clap.
One. She holds on to it and the world revolves around her.
Six. One to screw it in and five to make the T-shirts.
Ten. Nine to stand around scratching their heads, and one to
get her boyfriend to do it.
Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
She's been laid all over the country.
What three words will a sorority girl never hear?
"Attention K-mart shoppers"
Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
So she can fantasize about shopping.
What is a sorority girl's favorite sexual position?
Facing Bloomingdale's.
What's the difference between Jell-o and a sorority girl?
Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
The Dead Sea
Lake Michigan
Lake Placid
How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
No makeup.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a barracuda?
Nail polish.
How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
Marry her.
Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
Only 2 men fit inside a broom closet at once
What's the difference between a telephone booth and a sorority girl?
You don't need a quarter for the sorority girl.
Only one person can use a telephone at once.
What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and garbage?
Garbage smells better.
Sorority girl attract more flies.
What' the difference between a sorority girl and a vacuum cleaner?
Nothing. They both suck.
You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.
You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.
When a vacuum cleaner is full of sh*t, its easy to dump the old bag.
A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
How do you get four sorority girls on one chair?
Tell them there's a rich guy sitting on it.
Turn the chair upside down and put one sorority girl on each leg.
What's the difference between a tribe of sly pygmies and a
sorority girl track team?
The tribe of sly pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster?
In the morning a rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo", while a
sorority girl says "any-cock'll-do"
Why does a sorority girl wear underwear?
To keep her ankles warm.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a Rolls Royce?
Not everybody has been in a Rolls Royce.
What does the Bermuda Triangle and Sorority girls have in common?
They both swallow semen.
What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
A case of Schlitz.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and parsley?
You don't eat parsley.
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
They are both stuck up cunts.
What do you say to a sorority girl that won't give in?
"Have another beer."
What does a sorority girl make for dinner?
Why does a sorority girl wear a gold diaphragm?
So her boyfriend will think he is coming into money.
What is foreplay for a sorority girl?
Thirty minutes of begging.
What did the sorority girl say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
Oh, Daaaaddy, it's ok, I'm not hurt.
What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a
sorority girl?
A prostitute says "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says "You're done
already?", and a sorority girl says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling


Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

We're staying together for the sake of the cats.

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

My karma ran over your dogma.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

This is not an abandoned vehicle.

I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.

It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.

Life's too short to dance with ugly women.

My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to
leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.

I is a university student.

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

Beer isn't just for breakfast anymore.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Eschew obfuscation.

Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of
a milk carton.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Is there life before coffee?

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

I Cayman went.

My other wife is beautiful.

I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.

Nuke the unborn baby gay whales for Christ.

Geez if you love Honkus.

I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.

There is one in every crowd, and they always find me.

If money could talk, it would say goodbye.

When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger.

Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come
faster rats.

If it's too loud, you're too old.

Wink, I'll do the rest.

The worst day fishing is better than the best day working.

An Irishman is not drunk so long as he can hold on to one
blade of grass and not fall off the earth.

Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the
value of nothing.

Q: Why did the first koala fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead!

Q: Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
A: The first one hit it on the way down.

Q: Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
A: It thought suicide was in so it jumped!

Q: Why do platypuses (those fury things that live in the water) have
flat beaks?
A: Koalas keep falling on them!
A list of limericks:

There once was a man from Namtucket,
Who had a dick so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he whiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt I could Fuck it.

There once was a rabbi named Kieth,
He used to circumsize boys with his teeth.
It was not for his liesure,
Or for sexual pleasure,
But for the cheese undernieth.

There once was a woman from Silesia,
Who said "Well if my cunt won't please ya',
Why don't you cum up my slimy old bum,
But watch that my tape worm don't seize ya'"

There once was a cowgirl from Dallas,
Who f**ked herself with a 14'' phallus.
Her boyfriend came in,
And shoved it right in,
I geuss he was probably jelous.

Nymphomaniac Jill
Tryed a dynimite stick for a thrill.
They found her vigina in North Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazill.

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> DRUNK : Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants

I thought this was:

Opens fly and pulls the old fella out. Sees two, so puts one back and
pisses his pants.