Taoism: Shit Happens. Confucianism: Confucius Say

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Taoism: Shit happens.

Confucianism: Confucius say: Shit happens.

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

New Age: Shit is warm.

Atheism: Who gives a shit.

Agnosticism: Maybe.