A Spaceship From The Planet Zong Lands In Farmborough.

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A spaceship from the planet Zong lands in Farmborough.
It is the middle of the night - the town is deserted (not that
there's much happening in the daytime in Farmborough) as the
aliens (who are rather petrol - pump - like in their appearance)
descend from their ship.
They wander around for a while until they come across a garage
and what they percieve to be intelligent life - a petrol pump
(an easy mistake to make in Farmborough anyway). The chief Zong
greets the petrol pump.
"Greetings; I am Zong, a Zong from the planet Zong. We have come in
our spaceship, the Zong, to meet Earth people. Take me to your
cliche" (sorry, I mean leader.)
The Zong receives no reply, so he repeats his demand using shorter
words (he has heard that this usually works in Farmborough).
"Take me to your leader".
The petrol pump, unsurprisingly, says nothing.
By now, the short-tempered captain of the Zong is getting a bit annoyed at
being ignored. He levels his ray gun at the petrol pump, much to the
distress of his first mate, and demands,
Of course, the petrol pump remains silent; his shipmates try to
restrain him, but he fires. There is an almighty explosion as the
petrol pump bursts into a huge ball of flames and the
crew of the Zong are hurled hundreds of yards into the air. They
land in a nearby field with a bump.
"What the hell happened ?" shouted the Zong captain.
"I tried to warn you", replied the first mate, "You just don't mess with
a guy who can wrap his p**** around his waist and stick it in his ear."