Ways The FBI Can Apologize To Richard Jewell 16> One Burger And Fries, Coming Right Up!
Ways the FBI Can Apologize to Richard Jewell
16> One burger and fries, coming right up!
15> Gift-wrapped VHS box set of White House surveillance footage
of JFK "gettin' it on."
14> "Special Guest Executioner" for Tim McVeigh.
13> A new pick-up, a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a fabulous
fun-filled weekend with Janet Reno.
12> The "We're mostly sorry but we still think you did it" bouquet
11> Coupon for free wiretap with purchase of any illegal
10> Send Special Agent Richard Simmons by with an "I'm sorry" hug
and a set of Deal-a-Meal cards.
9> Let him help with some serious-ass surveillance on that commie,
8> Allow him to select his very own dress from J. Edgar Hoover's
7> Put him in charge of marshmallow toasting at the FBI's next
cult compound burning.
6> An official FBI "Definitely Not a Terrorist" wallet card.
5> Grant him permission to detonate a pipe bomb under the Spice
Girl of his choice.
4> Nothing says "I'm sorry!" like five pounds of plastic
3> Gets to play Elvis in scene with President Nixon in remake of
the "FBI Story."
2> Send him off on a special "undercover" assignment at Hooters.
and the Number 1 Way the FBI Can Apologize to Richard Jewell...
1> "Rutti Tutti Fresh and Fruity" at IHOP for a year.
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List email@example.com http://www.topfive.com
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