New Additions To The Graceland Tour 15> "Sit On The Throne Where The King Died" Photo Booth 14> In-house Theme Restaura
New Additions to the Graceland Tour
15> "Sit On the Throne Where The King Died" photo booth
14> In-house theme restaurant: "The Last Chili Donut"
13> Animatronic Elvis collapses in the bathroom every 5 minutes
12> "Aron" or "Aaron" live debate with G. Gordon Liddy and Noam
11> Fossilized fried peanut butter and banana sandwich, found
underneath the couch in the Jungle Room
10> The Michael Jackson Target Practice Shooting Range
9> Virtual Reality "Delusions of Persecution" room
8> Free copy of "12 Steps to Getting a Life" with any purchase
from the gift shop over $50
7> Computer-generated "Meatball's-Eye-View Trip through Elvis's
6> Elvis's Smith & Wesson remote TV control
5> New condom gift shop features "The Thin Elvis" and "The Fat
4> The Elvis-Spins-in-His-Grave rotisserie that starts
automatically when you say "Michael Jackson" or "King of Pop"
3> Elvis's deep fryer -- large enough to accommodate an entire cow
2> Ye Olde Colonel Parker Apothecary Shoppe
and the Number 1 New Addition to the Graceland Tour...
1> The "King's Colon" rollercoaster
This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List firstname.lastname@example.org http://www.topfive.com
Ways to Commemorate the 20th Anniversary of Elvis Presley's Death 15> Have the King exhumed, breaded, deep-fried & reburied.
14> For crying out loud, he's NOT DEAD! How many 7-11 sightings does it take to CONVINCE you people?...
Ways the FBI Can Apologize to Richard Jewell 16> One burger and fries, coming right up!
15> Gift-wrapped VHS box set of White House surveillance footage of JFK "gettin' it on....
The Top 15 Surprises in Bill Gates's New Mansion 15> Sign over king-sized bed declares, "Use of the Words 'micro' and 'soft' strictly prohibited while in bedroom.
14> No paintings, but live artists actually hanging on the wall....
Old TV Show Plots Updated for the 90's (Part II) 15> "Lassie" -- Timmy falls down the old well, bringing a CNN news crew and a dozen benefit concerts before Lassie can even say, "Woof".
14> "Lost in Space" -- Hilarity abounds when the Robot discovers what appears to be a remote control car examining rocks on the red planet....
Upcoming Books From Public Figures 15> Larry King -- "7 Wives for .
..Me!" 14> Anonymous -- "How I Cheated the Teamsters" 13> Keyshawn Johnson -- "Let Me Clarify...
Famous Last Words 15> "C'mon ya wimps, one more beer, it's open ocean out there, what're we gonna hit?
Captain Hazelwood, Exxon Valdez 14> "Responding to the liberal media's biased coverage, these fine young members of the Republican House Caucus are standing behind me to show their full support for my continued Speakership....
The Top 15 Attractions at Michael Jackson's Amusement Park in Poland 15> The Jackson Siblings' Career Slide!
14> Kid Who Played Webster Petting Zoo 13> The Rusty Antique Moonwalk 12> The "Now Hold On Real Tight" Ride 11> The Hall Of Elizabeth Taylor's Ex-Husbands 10> Sign at park entrance which says, "You must be at least this young to enter....
The Top 15 Least Useful Technologies of the Future 15> ASCII IMAX theaters 14> ChocoAlchemy -- converts "Yoo Hoo" to "Nestle's Quik" 13> "Mr.
Scratchy" Self-Adjusting Cup for Major League Ballplayers 12> New wraparound 12 TV picture tube engineered for optimal TNN line-dancing display 11> Pod bay doors 10> The "I Can't Believe It's Not Tofu!...
The Top 16 Plays Shakespeare Chose Not to Publish 16> Christopher Marlowe Can Kiss My Elizabethan Ass 15> Henry VIII
I Am, I Am 14> Fast Times at Verona High 13> A Midsummer Night's Nocturnal Emission 12> Om'let 11> Love's Fing'r Pulled 10> Romeo & Steve 9> Twelfth Night, Children Stay Free 8> Felines 7> Henry VIII was a Big Fat Idiot 6> Six Degrees of Francis Bacon 5> Stratford-upon-Avon 90210 4> Hamlet II - Where the hell is everybody?...