Ways To Commemorate The 20th Anniversary Of Elvis Presley's Death 15> Have The King Exhumed, Breaded, Deep-fried & Reburied.

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Ways to Commemorate the 20th Anniversary of Elvis Presley's Death

15> Have the King exhumed, breaded, deep-fried & reburied.

14> For crying out loud, he's NOT DEAD! How many 7-11 sightings
does it take to CONVINCE you people?

13> Show your support for Sonny and Red by joining them down at
the Teamsters picket.

12> Eat some cake... a whole cake, in fact... and some pork.

11> Point out that the "king of rock 'n' roll" neither wrote nor
actually played guitar on most of his songs, and then wait
to get pummeled by a herd of middle-aged Southern women in
lime green stretchpants and big hair.

10> Your choice: Exhume Richard Nixon for a photo op, or do the
nasty with Ann-Margret.

9> Go to gravesite and hear whirling sound as Lisa Marie announces
her latest engagement.

8> The same way Elvis would: make it with Priscilla, then head to
Krispy Kreme.

7> Have a couple of fried peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches with
a nice barbiturate salad.

6> Call up Priscilla & order her to trowel on the mascara.

5> Go to Circuit City and shoot up a few TV's.

4> Try to relieve yourself without bursting any major arteries.

3> At quittin' time, toss your scarf to receptionist.

2> Two words: lard shots.

and the Number 1 Way to Commemorate the
20th Anniversary of Elvis Presley's Death...

1> Steal the artistic heritage of an oppressed minority, twist
it into a grotesque perversion, make millions exploiting your
less-than-genius fans, then die on the toilet before your
daughter can marry a bizarre freak of pop culture.

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