Ways To Send Packages During The UPS Strike 15> Use FedEx's New "Not Very Important" Class.

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Ways To Send Packages During the UPS Strike

15> Use FedEx's new "Not Very Important" class.

14> Looks like that battalion of army ants you've been training
can be used for more than just conquering the world.

13> Mark package "For Clinton Defense Fund" and give it to any
Chinese dude.

12> Throw them in Santa's sleigh, then mark out the pages in his
Filofax up to December 24th.

11> Dress it up as a woman, place it on a street corner, wait for
Eddie Murphy.

10> First: Lash package to Frank Gifford's back. Next: Tie
Frank Gifford to rocket. Finally: Re-run hotel room video
for Kathie Lee.

9> Use "TeamsterMail" -- Wrap it in newspaper with a dead fish.

8> "Hey Jimmy, instead of cutting my grass this week, how'd you
like to ride your bike to Chicago?"

7> For quick shuttle between Boulder and Brentwood, stick it in
Geraldo's video truck.

6> Hands Across America II

5> Wrap it around a pipe bomb and wait for Richard Jewell to
pick it up.

4> "Pony Express '97" -- Actually just three guys and a Ford

3> In New York City: carrier rat

2> Two words: Big-ass slingshot

and the Number 1 Way To Send Packages During the UPS Strike...

1> With my "package", I alone do the deliverin', if you know
what I mean.

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