One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th
hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the
side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this
little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right
beside him. "Goodness," says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor
little guy. Upon awaking, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and
square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you
too badly," and walks away. Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks
to himself, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have
to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want.
I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life."
Well, a year goes by and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at
the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off
looking for his ball. When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and
asks how he is doing.
The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?""
"It's great! I hit under par every time."
"I did that for you. And might I ask how your money is holding out?"
The golfer says, "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in
my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill."
"I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?" The golfer
looks at him a little shyly and says, "Well, maybe once or twice a week."
The leprechaun is floored and stammers, "Once or twice a week?"
"Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...