US President Bill Clinton plans to reduce the budget deficit by an appeal to
sacrifice. The problem, however, is that every time he gets near a virgin...
In an article on Northern Ireland, the political party Sinn Fein
was described as the political wing of the IRA. I guess that
makes the U.S. Democratic Party the political wing of the IRS.
President Clinton had heard of all the starving people in Somalia, and wanted
to get a look for himself. He ordered his aides to prepare Air Force One.
On the plane, the president looked down with his binoculars, and said "My
God! Look at them! Skinny, starving -- where are our troops?"
An aide chimed in: "Er, Mr. President... that's not Somalia. It's Arkansas."
VoiceFromWhiteHouse> Sorry, but we just have to cut all our
- non-essential staff here
(voice revealed to be Hillary)
Hillary> So, Bill, I'll give you 'til 5 to get out!
Reporter 1> The cult members seem totally brainwashed, and still
place their blind faith in a false savior offering hollow promises of
Reporter 2> And that concludes our report from the Clinton White
Slick Willie appoints his wife to chair health care reform and now appoints yet
another Kennedy to be, of all things, Ambassador to Ireland. Who said nepotism
in American government is dead?
Hillary is being driven around Washington D.C. and spots
a little boy sitting in a park with a wagon. She thinks,
'this is a great press opportunity' so she has her driver
pull over. She gets out to talk to the little boy and
discovers that he has 6 little puppies in the wagon.
She comments on how nice they are and the little boy says
'thank you ma'm, they're Democrats!' Of course Hillary is
extremely pleased by this.
A few days later, Bill decides to take one of his jogs down
to McDonalds, which is close to the park, and Hillary mentions
that if he should see a little boy with a wagon he should
stop and talk to him. Well, Bill sees the little boy with
his wagon and puppies so he tells the little boy 'what nice
puppies those are!' The boy says, 'Thank you sir. They're
Republicans!' 'Wait a minute,' says Bill, 'Hillary told
me that they're Democrats.' The boy responds, 'Yes sir,
but now their eyes are open!'
Bill Clinton dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St.Peter asks him
who he is and what he did. Bill replies, "I am Bill Clinton, and
I was president of the United States!" St. Peter says, "Ok, I will
take you to meet the Lord." So they go to meet the Lord, who says
"Who are you and what have you done?" Clinton replies, "I am Bill
Clinton and I was president of the U.S.A.!" The Lord then says,
"Come Bill, sit on my right hand." Clinton then sits down to the right
of the Lord, extremely happy.
Al Gore then dies and goes to the pearly gates, where St. Peter asks him
who he is and what he did. Al replies much the same as Bill did,
stating that he is Al Gore and was Vice-president of the US. St.
Peter then takes him to meet the Lord, who offers Al the seat on his
left side. Al accepts, and like Clinton, is ecstatic.
After a while, Hillary dies and gets to the gates. St. Peter asks who she is
and what she did, to which she replies, "Hillary Rodham Clinton, wife
of the president of the US." Peter then takes her in to meet the Lord
who repeats the question, "Who are you and what have you done?"
Hillary replies, "I am Hillary Rodham Clinton, and you are in my seat!"
Didja hear that in response to Pres. Bill's habit of dropping
in on local McDonalds the McD's national management has annouced
a commemrative double cheeseburger, the McClinton?
Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, and it's got
half the meat.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...